Tag Archives: personal adjustment

A change is as good as a rest?

9 Apr

Five months ago, I was thrust into a process of change that caught me slightly unawares. It turned my whole life asunder and I have spent the best part of the last five months writing about how I actually got to this stage in my life. I am in the midst of a profound personal adjustment – the introvert pieces of which have been ticking over for five months – and now the external, logistical pieces are about to unfold. I am moving house and city.

Right now, I am sitting in my normal ‘writing spot’ but I am surrounded by packed bags and boxes, bare walls and basically, a complete mess! I am moving from a city I have lived in for 10 years to a completely unknown future. Where will I live, will I meet friends, will I find a job I like? These questions have been flying around my head all afternoon.  In some ways it’s a brave move, in other ways, maybe I need my head examined.

All I know is that I can’t stay ‘here’ anymore; the ‘here’ being the place I have been for almost five years – lost, aimless and utterly plan-less, fighting a losing battle, floating along  in the river of ‘De Nial’, stuck in limbo like the hamster on the spinning wheel who is spinning furiously with all his might, but getting no-where.

There are some major things I want to achieve before the end of 2012:

1. Detox my life from bad influences (people, places, unhealthy habits and thoughts)

– moving city is a big step on this one, others will require will-power and a gym membership

2. Complete my manuscript through to the re-editing phase, ready to be sent for a critique

– I have finished my first draft, so my manuscript is currently in the ‘stewing’ phase

3. Galvanize my five-year plan in terms of my desired new career

– this will be the toughest but I am now solely thinking about what suits me, what I enjoy and what I am good at, as opposed to the monetary value of a role. I have ear-marked some college courses and want to to really develop my writing portfolio.

4. Get to a happy, healthy place

– this will take some work, but if I focus on points 1-3, I hope I will achieve this eventually.

This new phase has been circling the outskirts of my life for a long time, but until now, I have not had the courage nor the confidence to admit the reality that things needed to change. Now is my chance to make a difference to my life, to break free of old routines and bad-habit circles and to begin  developing a version 2.0 of me. I will probably falter a few times but I hope my determination to change my life will follow through into my actions.

A fresh start, a new beginning, a blank page, I hope Budda is right – fingers crossed!

NMG.C

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