The Eleventh Hour

2 May

Elliott turned away from her and walked out of the room. Kate bit her lip and then shook her head from the inside. His presence hung on in the air of the room afterwards, shadowing her thoughts. How was he able to pull the air from her chest just by looking at her?

Elliott’s frustration quickened his step up through the dark streets. Flashes of blonde hair and the soft smell of her perfume clouded his mind. The pull towards her essence disarmed him every time he looked at her. Tonight had been no different to all the other times that were slowly driving him crazy.

Days later, Kate opened the door and met his determined stare. He wanted to be sure, beyond any doubt, that she knew. Standing silently, he reached out and took her hand in his, entwined their fingers and clasped their hands together tightly. She held his breath in hers and their eyes found the souls. Then, dropping his stare to the ground, he let go. Melancholy washed over her as she watched him walk away. ‘Elliott….wait’ she screamed in her head. He never looked back.

‘Who was that at the door?’

‘Just Elliott’

‘Is he not coming in?’

‘No, he was just checking if there are ribbons for his car’

‘Well hurry up Missy, in two hours you’ll be Ms. Simon Blake!’ Her mother busied around the kitchen.

‘I can’t do this Elliott.’ She wasn’t even sure he’d reply to her text.

‘Neither can I Kate?’



7 Responses to “The Eleventh Hour”

  1. robincoyle May 2, 2012 at 2:12 pm #

    Did he reply?!?!?

    • What's it All About and Other Stories May 2, 2012 at 4:15 pm #

      It’s a piece of flash fiction I wrote, I’m not sue if it’s any good!!! The question mark at the end is supposed to leave the story wide open – I’m not very good a flash fiction!!! I use too many words mostly 🙂

      • robincoyle May 2, 2012 at 4:35 pm #

        Well I enjoyed it!

      • mskatykins May 2, 2012 at 8:02 pm #

        I really enjoyed it. You’ve painted the scene really well and I like the intimacy of this moment between them and I think it’s good that the reader is left with some unanswered questions…

        I’m not good at flash fiction. I find it remarkably hard to write an actual story in a limited word count!

      • What's it All About and Other Stories May 4, 2012 at 2:09 pm #

        Ah thanks Katy, I wanted to leave the essence of the story wide open but flash fiction is so hard to manage!! Thanks for the positive comments, I will keep practising on this genre!

      • mskatykins May 4, 2012 at 2:39 pm #

        You’re very welcome. I wish I had some useful advice to offer. I do think you should come and check out Show Me Your Lits – I’m a member of this writing community and flash fiction is what they specialise in. The other writers are pretty amazing. They’re not only talented but extremely supportive. You should come and check us out. It’s a great place to practise writing and to gain more confidence. 🙂

      • What's it All About and Other Stories May 6, 2012 at 11:02 am #

        Katy – thanks for that link, I just checked out the page and see there is a weekly flash fiction challenge. I will have a good goo around the website and see if I can submit something. Thanks for your support, big love your way 🙂

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